I’d spent all the rent, grocery, and utility money, on drugs. The horror of what I’d just done was unbelievable. I was lying in bed with the covers pulled up to my chin. A few months before I went into treatment I’d been on a three-day run. Addiction is a delusional illness, interspersed with eye-blinks of reality. They won’t tell you this, because most of the time, they don’t believe it.
Addicts have no control over their addiction. Together they form a highly dysfunctional, crippling and dependent, bond. They are the main target of the addict’s manipulation.
The primary enabler believes they understand the addict better than anyone else in the family. Their job is to clean up the addict’s mess. There is always an easy mark, or ‘go to’ person in every family. Your body language tells them how to play it, and who to play it, with. They learn to queue off of your emotional signals. The only way addiction can thrive is to manipulate. You learn not to upset them by avoiding difficult conversations, which in turn, allows them to use in peace. Whether it’s yelling, avoiding, or turning the tables, the substance abuser will find a way to make you, shut up. Substance abusers display abusive and unhealthy behavior, to keep you, off their back. Chances are you were made to feel crazy, for it.
You’ve probably confronted your loved one about their using. Liar, liar pants on fire! If you’re looking for the truth, don’t expect to find it. When in reality they just smoked a joint, or popped an opiate pain pill. Your teen appears sedated, stating they’re tired. For example, an alcoholic might tell you they’ve had a few beers, when in fact they just drank a pint of vodka. They are not telling you the truth when it comes to what, or how much, they’re using. Whether your loved one struggles with an addiction to alcohol or narcotics, one thing is for sure. I spoke with recovering addicts – addicts active in addiction won’t tell you the truth – and below are the top seven secrets, addicts don’t want YOU to know. What you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, where you’re going, when you’ll be back, and how much you spend, is anyone’s guess. When you’re active in addiction, everything is secret. Internationally recognized author Lorelie Rozzano is a guest blogger for Vertava Health.
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